


I'd like to see you naked

by Geli



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Episode Related, Episode: s04e08 The Sentinel by Blair Sandburg, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 09:10:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/796455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geli/pseuds/Geli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair discovers Jim's feelings after TSbBS and has to decide about their future together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'd like to see you naked

Jim hugged him in front of all their friends in midst the bullpen. He pressed him against his strong body, and for the first time Blair was acutely aware how hot and hard Jim felt and how masculine his scent was. He had hugged Jim before, but it had been as if he'd hugged his mom. Nice and comfortable. 

Suddenly he remembered the look Jim had given him in the hospital. Jim might have thought that he hadn't seen it, but he turned fast enough to get a glimpse of the expression of love and longing in his friend's face. His heart was pounding fast when Jim released him and his body was shaking slightly. He smiled nervously and Jim gave him the most brilliant grin. A lump formed in his stomach and for the rest of the day, he couldn't shake the feeling of Jim's arms around him, the way he had felt against him. It produced an inner turmoil and he didn't know what to make of it. 

For the rest of the day he kept himself busy to avoid analyzing his feelings. His thoughts had only vaguely lingered around the incident of this day. 

When Jim came home later that evening, he was already cooking dinner. Jim hung his jacket on the rack and came closer to peer in the pot. Blair stepped back involuntarily. Jim's proximity made him uneasy. He could feel Jim's body heat. He couldn't help noticing how much taller he was. Jim noticed Blair's odd behavior. 

"How do you feel, Chief? Everything okay?" 

"I'm fine Jim." 

"You are worrying too much, everything will work out. You'll see." 

"I hope so." 

"You need a vacation. Get away from all this. Maybe we should go fishing or something." 

No question, the older man was pouring on the charm. Blair had the feeling Jim was teasing him somehow. 

"I want to thank you for everything you have done. Not just anybody would have done something like that for me." Jim said earnestly. 

Jim reached out and hugged him again, giving him a dry kiss on the brow. It set Blair's insides on fire. He tried desperately to hide his condition and became awkward in Jim's embrace. Nervously he drew back and began to set the table. 

"Why don't you sit down? Everything is ready. I'm trying a new recipe from a fellow student from Brazil. I couldn't get all ingredients but I think it will do. I've left out some spices, just to be sure. Did you know that a lot of spices are regarded aphrodisiacs ..." Blair clamped his mouth shut. 

Jim sat down obediently and Blair filled the silence with meaningless chatter. He ate fast and let half of his food on his plate untouched. Jim was quiet and only watched him with a serene expression. Blair felt like he was under observation. Jim had all his attention zoomed in on him and he had to get out, fast, before he said or did some stupid. He was afraid to look up in Jim's eyes, afraid of what he would see there. 

Finally Blair excused himself and went to his room. Shaking, he sat down in front of his laptop and pretended to work. He knew exactly what all this meant. There was not doubt that Jim was attracted to him and his own body responded to it. Shit! 

Through his room window he could see that Jim was sprawled on the sofa watching TV. Meanwhile, he was going crazy trapped in his little room. Jim had probably already floated the loft with his pheromones, which whispered to Blair's body: 'I want you, I want you, come to me, my mate!' 

Blair groaned. What was he going to do? What? He liked Jim very much, but he never thought of being his lover, had never thought of being any man's lover. Blair had never even looked at a man twice. This wouldn't be just a fling if he gave in to his libido's demands - it would become a serious relationship. And what if he ignored it and rejected his friend? It would damage their friendship. But how could he sleep with a man? Could he live with Jim for the rest of his life? Never have a family, only the two of them against the rest of the world? What would their friends say? They couldn't hide this forever. His mind was wandering in circles and he felt panic rising. 

Jim was leaning against the doorframe. "I'm going to bed, Blair." 

But he looked as if he didn't want to go and was waiting for an invitation from Blair. 

Blair waved at him. "Come in." 

Jim came in and sat on the bed curiously peering at him. 

"I wondered if I'd have to cut my hair?" 

Jim smiled. "Maybe a little bit but it would grow back in a year. You could let it grow waist length." 

"C'mon man, that wouldn't be very practical on the job." 

"You have nice hair." There was a distracted quality to Jim's voice. 

Surprised, Blair studied his friend and recognized that Jim was already in some hormone-induced nirvana. He knew this look well. His older friend seldom had a crush on someone but when Cupid's arrow hit him, he was a frightening mix between mad predator and love-struck fool. Every cell began to scream...go to him, claim him... but at the same time pure panic spread through Blair's system. A sudden realization hit him. If he gave in, it would change both their lives forever and that was it that he was so scared about. He would lose himself in Jim and never be able to leave him. That and the same sex thing. He couldn't take it any longer. 

"Why don't you lie down and take a nap while I finish this." 

Blair pointed at his laptop and Jim nodded. After some hesitation, he smiled and lay comfortably down. Blair scrutinized the huge body on his bed. Not a good idea. His groin was suddenly on fire and the room seemed airless. He typed on his laptop but a quick review of what he'd written revealed that nothing he'd written made sense. He sighed. Stop stalling! 

He sat down on the bed and took Jim's hand. The older man looked at him with a trust that made Blair cringe inside. He didn't know how to begin and sighed again. Jim held the strong hand against his chest and stroked over it with his thump. His eyes had an intense clarity that burned holes in Blair's soul. 

"What do you want from me?" 

"Do I have to explain this? I thought you knew." Jim said quietly. 

"I won't beat around the bushes. Have you thought about this? I mean really thought about this? About all the consequences?" 

"Yes. I've never been more sure in my life." 

Blair was silent. Jim searched for a sign in his friend's face. 

"I have to tell you something." Blair drew his hand back. "I've never been with a guy and this scares me, okay?" 

Jim nodded understanding. "I won't hurt you, Chief." 

"I know, I just..." Blair made a face. 

Jim groaned. "You think you can't trust me. That you'll say stop and I won't stop." 

Blair couldn't look in Jim's eyes. Jim didn't know what he could say to reassure his friend. It hurt him that Blair thought he couldn't trust him, but he knew that the younger man had a lot of insecurities hidden beneath his outgoing behavior. Blair needed to feel that he was an equal in this, that Jim wouldn't overwhelm him with his need. 

"You are so body shy. All these years we've been roommates and I've never seen you naked. You have seen me naked in all sorts of conditions." Jim said. 

Blair blushed. Jim slipped out of his shirt and pushed down his pants and boxers. Blair stood up from the bed warily and slumped in his desk chair. Jim lay back with his hands folded under his head and smiled seductively at him. He was a glorious sight, half hard with a slight sweat covering his skin. 

"C'mon, touch me." 

"I can't." Blair said helplessly. 

"I won't move. You can do whatever you want - touch me, just look at me, whatever. This is for you, Chief." 

Blair moved to sit down on the mattress next to Jim's form. He was almost afraid that Jim would grab him the moment he was in reach but he didn't. He lay there like a big, lazy cat. Blair realized he couldn't touch Jim because the moment he did, he would be lost. He needed more time to think this over. Maybe Jim was sure, but he felt as if he were standing on the edge of an abyss. He stood up and went back to his desk keeping his back to Jim. Jim sighed behind him and as Blair turned around, Jim was gently stroking his cock. Blair jerked around and blushed furiously at his friend's wanton behavior. His cock became painful hard in his pants and he lost any feeling in his feet and hands. He opened his fly with shaking hands to ease the pressure on his cock. He could hear Jim's breath becoming faster. Something clicked inside him and he got up and laid himself full length over Jim. Jim was startled at first. Blair held him down with his body, trapping his arms and legs. He did nothing as if he wanted just to stop Jim from what he was doing. Jim waited for a while. 

"What do you want to do?" Jim asked huskily. 

"Don't know." 'Run away' he thought. 

Jim relaxed under Blair's heavy weight. He thought he could do this for hours if Blair needed it. The feeling was weird and at the same time comfortable. Blair was still fully dressed and lying motionless on top of him. It seemed like Blair was overpowering him with this tactic and Jim liked it. The idea of being pliant in Blair's arms was a powerful turn on. Blair pondered the hard dick, which was poking him in the thigh. 

"Have you been with a guy before?" Blair murmured against his sweaty neck. 

"Once or twice." 

Blair was surprised. 

"You're not afraid?" 

"No, I love you, Chief. Why should I be afraid?" 

Blair wasn't so sure about it. He had all kinds of fears. 

"I don't want to bottom." 

"You don't have to." Jim replied, astonished. 

"But I want to give you everything. It's only fair but I know I can't. Not now." 

Jim sighed. Blair was way too much thinking about this, as usual. 

"Do you love me, Blair?" 

"Very much. I love you more than I have ever loved anybody." 

Jim grinned at him. "That's all I want." 

Blair snorted. "C'mon, you're a guy in his prime. You want more than just holding hands. Hell, I would want more." 

Jim laughed and Blair felt the rumble go through Jim's chest. 

"You love me, you want me, and the fear will go. I can wait as long as I get a hug and some kisses now and then. And I'd really, really liked to see you naked." 

"Okay, but not tonight." 

"I think I'll go to bed then. You sleep and dream - preferably about me." 

Jim wiggled from under Blair, gave him a tender kiss on the forehead and walked as proudly as a man with hands full of clothing and a leaking erection could. 

Blair plumped back on the pillows. The whole room was filled with Jim's smell. Blair's cock twitched. No doubt Jim had gone to take care of his hard dick before he exploded. 

Blair made himself ready to go to bed. He heard Jim upstairs lying down. Blair closed his laptop and wondered with admiration about Jim's restraint. He'd always known this guy was made of steel. He could face any enemy without fear. And more impressive, he faced a reluctant lover without making him feel less of a man for his fears. Blair smiled and relaxed. He snuggled under his covers and tried to remember what he knew about sex between men. He thought about going upstairs just to sleep in Jim's bed, but dismissed it as a bad idea. It would be pure torture for his friend. Although Jim had assured him he'd be patient, he'd looked like a desperate man who wouldn't let him out of his bed for weeks or until his body gave out from sexual exhaustion. Blair couldn't really sleep as his thoughts were circling about the man lying upstairs. He slipped in and out of a light slumber. 

The next morning, Blair stumbled tiredly out of his room to find Jim making breakfast. Jim was nervously waiting for some reaction from Blair about what had happened between them the previous night. Blair sensed his friend's distress and walked over to give him a peck on his throat. Immediately Blair was frustrated that he couldn't reach Jim's mouth even when he stood on his toes. He slung his arms around Jim's neck and drew him down with his weight. Jim almost toppled forward but caught himself against the cupboards. 

"Blair!" He shouted strangled. 

"Kiss me fool!" 

"You'll break my neck!" 

Blair let go a bit and Jim dived in to kiss the luscious mouth with abandon. He'd wanted to taste Blair for so long. His tongue explored everything in the sweet cavern. Blair caught the roaming tongue and sucked at it gently. 

"Tastes good, even with a beard stubble." Blair smacked his lips. 

Jim cuffed his head. 

"You know, I think you'd marry me if you could." 

"We are going to be partners, that's as good as married. " Jim said ruefully. 

Blair chuckled. "I see. In your macho world, the partner is more important than the wife." 

Jim sobered and reached out for Blair who slid easily back in his arms. 

"I feel like one of those Greek warriors who had only male lovers because it made them strong and fearless fighters." Blair mused against Jim's chest. 

Jim squeezed him. Blair saw a difficult future for them, but at the same time he couldn't see a different path. He looked up in the hard face of his older, male lover. He was sure there would be moments he'd regret his decision, yet Jim was his fate and he loved him with all his being. 

"How do you see us?" Blair asked. 

"What?" 

"I mean how do you expect this to be between us?" Blair made a waving gesture. 

"We are partners in everything." Jim sighed. "Ever since we merged in our vision I've had this feeling that we are one - one soul in two bodies." Jim was at loss for words. None seemed adequate to express his feelings. 

"Like in 'The Symposium'? All humans were like balls with four arms, four legs and two heads and the gods separated them into two halves to punish them. Since then, every human is searching for its other half? You know, Plato?" 

"A weird picture, but yeah, something like that." Jim grinned against Blair's unruly curls. 

Jim held his friend and future lover close and thought how lucky he was. Blair was brave enough to risk his life and soul in the greatest adventure of life: love. He knew Blair was scared about all the consequences of their newfound love, but it made him proud and happy that his younger friend was working to overcome his fears. It would have been so easy for him to say no, to shut Jim out and deny their bond. Blair had chosen the more difficult path with him and Jim was determined to make sure that Blair would never regret it. 

"What are you afraid of, Blair?" Jim asked. 

Blair chuckled. "Always the same, man. The unknown. I don't know what lays ahead of us." 

"One step at a time, honey." 

"Oh, god!" 

"What?" 

Blair laughed unbelieving. "You called me honey. I'm gonna have to get used to that. I mean that a butch guy like you calls me 'honey'." 

"You think I'm butch?" 

"Are you kidding? If I were a sculptor I'd use you for modeling Greek gods." 

"What is it with you and the Greek thing?" Jim said blushing. 

"Maybe I feel philosophical today." 

Blair leaned closer and kissed Jim's throat again. He'd had taller lovers but nothing like this. A thought occurred him. Taking each other standing was out of question unless he stood on something. That picture made Blair grin broadly. 

"You wanted to see me naked, didn't you say so yesterday? Well, I'm going to shower. Wanna watch?" 

Jim gaped at him as if he'd forgotten to breathe. Light-headed, he nodded and shoved Blair in the direction of the bathroom as if he couldn't wait to see the clothes fall. 

Inside, Blair motioned him toward the toilet. Jim closed the lid and sat down with a weird feeling of excitement. Blair smiled at him. Jim sensed some nervousness in his lover so he relaxed ostentatiously and leaned back. Blair shrugged out of his sweatshirt, then his T-shirt. His sweatpants followed. Standing in his boxers and socks, he turned on the taps and tested the temperature of the water. After a nervous glance at Jim, he pushed his boxers down and stepped into the shower. 

Jim slapped his hand over his mouth to prevent him from laughing out loud. Blair had still his socks on. Blair looked down at his feet when they felt odd. Blushing furiously, he pulled the drenched socks off. 'So much for my seduction technique' he thought. Jim was sitting outside barely containing himself. 

"Blair, you are so beautiful, with or without socks." Jim smiled tenderly at him. 

And Blair laughed, relieved. Why in hell had he been afraid of Jim? He stepped out and sat down in Jim's lap. Jim slung his arms around his wet and slippery lover and kissed him soundly. 

Everything was going to be okay. 

* * *


End file.
